Photo credits: Gavin Wallace (left), Jamie McPhilimey (right)

What’s MC Bassman’s problem with Alan Shearer?

For years, a question has been circling around forums and night club smoking areas: what’s MC Bassman’s problem with former Premier League footballer, Alan Shearer? A quick internet search and you’ll find conversations going back over 15 years guessing the mysterious origins of this unlikely story. The answer is yet to surface but we’re going to break down the top four favourite fan theories.

1. Shearer messed up a bet for Bassman

Let’s start off with the most popular option. The idea that Alan Shearer scored in the 92nd minute against Bassman’s favoured team, or perhaps he missed a goal. Either way, this scenario puts Birmingham’s favourite foul-mouthed MC out of pocket and would be an understandable cause for hatred.
Probability rating: 9/10

2. Shearer made a discriminatory comment about Caribbean immigrants

The least commonly held belief. This hypothesis claims Shearer made an off comment about Caribbean immigrants but this thankfully looks like just a rumour. It’s hard to imagine this wouldn’t have had more attention, considering the record goal scorer’s firm place as a TV pundit.
Probability rating: 1/10

3. Shearer came to a Bassman rave and grabbed the mic

This is undoubtedly the most ridiculous (this is even harder to believe than the last). To properly explain why this can’t be true: how would Alan Shearer get on stage and grab a mic without that making national news?! This theory also supposes that the former Match of the Day presenter would have gone to possibly the rowdiest dnb night in the country. Does beg to question though, would he get a pull-up?
Probability rating: 0.5/10

And lastly, probably the most realistic theory…

4. Shearer rhymes with everything

Well, not everything, but in the world of rhyming, it’s all-terrain.
Probability rating: 9/10

Researching this was an unexpected journey down an internet rabbit hole of old dnb forums and scratchy audio recordings. After all this, I think I’m as unsure about this story’s origins as I was before. It’s unclear if the man himself Alan Shearer is aware of this historical rivalry, but Bassman hasn’t faulted and still firmly points the (lengthy) finger of blame. I couldn’t tell you why.